


Verbal Fight (4/30)

by haisai_andagii



Series: Relation-Sh*t Tumblr 30 Day Fic Challenge [4]
Category: All New X-Factor, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, quickbit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3575038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haisai_andagii/pseuds/haisai_andagii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who's up for some petty mudslinging?  Danger has $5 on Remy.  So, that swamp rat better win! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Verbal Fight (4/30)

Danger slid a crisp five dollar bill onto Lorna's palm.

"Remy," she said smoothly.  "For the win."

"Gotcha," Lorna replied.  She jotted the android's name on their list.

A pile of half-eaten crabcakes littered the length of the dining room table, where Pietro sat on one end - arms crossed over his slight chest, his pointed chin jutted out, as his bright eyes sent a piercing glare across the table - and Remy sat on the other, glaring back. 

"Take it back, _cher_ ," he growled.

"Never, _darling_."

"Take back what you said!"

"Your crabcake was dry.  Get over it!" the speedster spat.  The others collectively gasped.

"Remy ain't never overcook a damn thing in his life!"

"Honestly, why do you hate facts?" Pietro returned, rolling his eyes.

"Why do you hate breathin'?" Remy hissed.  "Ain't no man on God's green earth gonna talk 'bout my Nanan's recipe like dat, Pietro Django Maximoff!"

"Clean out your ears, Remy Etienne LeBeau.  I am not blaming the recipe or your lovely Nanan," the speedster huffed. "I am blaming _you_."

Lorna dropped her calculator.

"Shit," Georgia mouthed as both she and Doug stepped behind a confused Warlock.  Remy's crimson eyes flashed; a dark scowl consumed his handsome face.

"Cher, don't you part yo' lips ta talk down to Remy," he said - each word growing more venomous with each iteration.  "You gangly, bass-mouthed-"

"You have a problem with my mouth, huh?" the speedster challenged.  "You had no problems with it last night when it was wrapped around your-"

"Guys, there are children in the room!" Lorna half-shouted as she leapt up to cover Doug and Georgia's ears.  "Also, I am your sister and your boss and I don't want to know about this at all!"

"I wish to know about your sexual exploits," Danger countered quietly.  "For research purposes."

"Shut up, Danger!" Remy bellowed.  "Can't you see a man's tryna defend his honor!"

"Don't tell her to shut up, you gator-surfing, cricket-eating, banjo-playing-"

"-pool-noodle-limbed, bird-beaked, grey as a mare-"

"-bayou-incest-wedding-attendee-"

"-uncultured, knock-kneed mountain goat-"

"-practically a damn cat lady-"

"-insufferable, overbearing know-it-all wit Daddy's issues a mile long!"

Pietro jumped from his seat, his eyes wide.  His lip trembled briefly.

"...And you're upset that he's stolen your girlfriend!"

Remy's mouth snapped shut.  His fist clenched tightly as he slowly rose from his chair.

Both men turned on their heels and stalked off. 

Doors slammed in the distance as the others sat in shocked silence.

"Um... Should self check on them?" Warlock asked.

"No, I believe a refractory period is necessary after exchanging such personal and hurtful barbs."

The humans murmured in agreement.

"Who had 'ends-in-tie-with-both-parties-stomping-off-and-locking-themselves-in-their-rooms'?" Lorna asked softly.

"Me..." mumbled Georgia as Douglas descended on the remaining crab-cakes and began to devour them.


End file.
